I am connected to you via the EQ network group, hence I found this blog.

What an appropriate and helpful blog – it’s almost like it was meant for me! I wholeheartedly agree with your sentiment and your reasoning makes great sense to me.

Going through some difficulties just now; overcoming some serious health concerns, facing redundancy for the second time in three years and not having much success looking for a new job (senior finance roles at Director level hard in short supply in the UK).

I have been working with a counsellor since May last year and we have made a lot of progress; health worries appear to be based in emotional issues stemming back to early childhood (40+ years!).

I have realised that I have very few true friends in my network and have found my counsellor to be a great support – not unlike scaffolding. I have done precisely what you suggest to try to cultivate stronger, more meaningful friendships, especially with colleagues who have faced the same redundancy issues as me. Giving out love and support in the hope (but not expectation) that what I give I will receive. However, as people have left and moved on with their lives, I’ve been left behind and I feel rather disappointed that the support I showed has not been reciprocated in any way whatsoever; it has just been taken, leaving me somewhat depleted, since I believe that to give love you must also receive it. I have a strong spiritual connection with my counsellor – right from the start I felt an instant recognition; a connection that I couldn’t explain – and my counsellor felt it too.

I have long felt that I would love to add my counsellor to my network of friends but when I scraped together the courage to discuss it I was advised that due to ethical considerations it was not possible to have anything more than a professional relationship; we cannot ever be friends it seems because we met in professional circumstances.

On the financial side I have indeed carried on giving freely – and even decided to pay my counsellor a small bonus (less than her fee for an hour’s session) in recognition of the help she has given me and the high regard I have for her. So imagine my shock and upset when she refused to accept it on the grounds of ethics. It seems I can’t even give it away! Bloomin’ ethics!

As a professional myself, I do understand the role of ethics and boundaries but I also believe in the bigger picture – so big that in a spiritual reality theses earthly, man-made rules and boundaries fade into nothingness; they are immaterial. In the bigger picture I believe spiritual growth and love overrides everything else – it’s what we’re here for. I should say that I have no lingering religious beliefs in the traditional sense; I do believe in the eternal spirit and am drifting towards the view that we’ve all been here many times before and will continue to return for many times to come.

So, finding that your advice is quite a bit harder to put into practice in this version of reality than it may appear. I guess you’ll tell me to keep going, but it feels like trying to live authentically is much like swimming against the tide!

Regards

Ian

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. – Have I added to the Peace
Where there is hatred, let me sow love; – Have I pivoted from hatred to love
where there is injury,pardon; – Have I brought comfort to injury
where there is doubt, faith; – Have I promoted confidence
where there is despair, hope; – Have I encouraged the discouraged
where there is darkness, light; -Did I focus on silver linings or clouds
and where there is sadness, joy. – Did I share a smile

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

On an only slightly less important note, the courage to place one’s professional position in jeopardy is related to one’s ability to suistain oneself without a salary and fringe benefits, or at least to accept a reduced level of compensation from another employer as a consequence of losing a job for reporting bad conduct.

Too many of us take our current position and current salary for granted. We don’t save enough, invest enough, and avoid debt enough to withstand an interruption in income. Reversing those bad habits is also exhibiting moral courage and personal responsibility. In addition, it makes courage on the job much easier.

Finally, it’s also important to protect our career and our earning power by relentlessly building internal and external networks, adding value to our own careers, and being “in the know” as opportunities arise. As Margaret Sumption says, job security isn’t having a secure job – it’s having two offers on the table.

Thanks for sharing…G.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with The Secret and The Power. I really enjoyed The Power as well! Keep on living it out!